Linear text classification algorithms work by computing an inner product between a test document vector and a parameter vector. In many such algorithms, including naive Bayes and most TFIDF variants, the parameters are determined by some simple, closed-form, function of training set statistics; we call this mapping mapping from statistics to parameters, the parameter function. Much research in text classification over the last few decades has consisted of manual efforts to identify better parameter functions. In this paper, we propose an algorithm for automatically learning this function from related classification problems. The parameter function found by our algorithm then defines a new learning algorithm for text classification, which we can apply to novel classification tasks. We find that our learned classifier outperforms existing methods on a variety of multiclass text classification tasks.